...she brought wine to my party.

So I cancelled my annual holiday to attend a friend’s event early this year. This was a break from the 7 year routine where I have allowed my body to recuperate for a couple of days just before the new year sets in. During this time, I change scenery, catch up with old friends and do some shopping. The serenity of my new environment allows me to unclutter my mind and also do some soul searching. I usually return home with a renewed mind and a fresh bout of energy. This is what sustains me and I can assure you, it can go for just 12 months.

An unexpected visit from an old friend last week, put an end to a rather lethargic start of the year. It was like an old flame being lit. Even after all these years, I’m still enthralled by her presence. She embodies femininity, passion, tenderness and a childlike innocence.

In one of his quotes, Nelson Mandela says, “There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” The few hours spent with Gladys on Monday last week were like an episode of Time traxx. There are things/places that remain unchanged: and to these we must return to find balance and meaning to the emptiness around us. Thank you Gladys for bringing the wine to my party; a quick jolt of energy until Jozi finally calls. xxx

The scarred shield and the pain of isolation:

I faced a minor isolation incident this afternoon that peeled the back off my self-esteem tree. Undoubtedly, the tree still stands because its foundations are deeply rooted, but upon nature’s walk this evening, a scar was registered.


One moment, it was like I was sitting with friends enjoying a sumptuous meal, and the next, I was requested to excuse myself because something ‘important’ was going to be discussed. My exit played out like a walk of shame from an inner circle that I thought I was part of, but has now been made smaller and exclusive. My eyes clouded with tears but I briskly blinked them away. I was not about to let anyone share the pain of my apparent isolation.


This little act of humiliation birthed a silent war in my spirit. I asked myself why I was feeling this way. My guard was down because I was in somewhat familiar territory. Surely, the involuntary release of tears was an indication that a raw nerve had been touched and I was bleeding on the inside….I pray to God that I finally get to the bottom of this.


I usually like to take responsibility of my feelings: I endeavor to get to the bottom of why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling. I REFUSE to blame someone for what happened to me this afternoon: it may have been an innocent request that I over reacted to BUT here’s my lesson: acts of discrimination and isolation (however SUBTLE) belittle, dishonor and dis empower their victims: a state of the mind which is not very desirable.