The scarred shield and the pain of isolation:

I faced a minor isolation incident this afternoon that peeled the back off my self-esteem tree. Undoubtedly, the tree still stands because its foundations are deeply rooted, but upon nature’s walk this evening, a scar was registered.


One moment, it was like I was sitting with friends enjoying a sumptuous meal, and the next, I was requested to excuse myself because something ‘important’ was going to be discussed. My exit played out like a walk of shame from an inner circle that I thought I was part of, but has now been made smaller and exclusive. My eyes clouded with tears but I briskly blinked them away. I was not about to let anyone share the pain of my apparent isolation.


This little act of humiliation birthed a silent war in my spirit. I asked myself why I was feeling this way. My guard was down because I was in somewhat familiar territory. Surely, the involuntary release of tears was an indication that a raw nerve had been touched and I was bleeding on the inside….I pray to God that I finally get to the bottom of this.


I usually like to take responsibility of my feelings: I endeavor to get to the bottom of why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling. I REFUSE to blame someone for what happened to me this afternoon: it may have been an innocent request that I over reacted to BUT here’s my lesson: acts of discrimination and isolation (however SUBTLE) belittle, dishonor and dis empower their victims: a state of the mind which is not very desirable.